COUPLES SKATE: THE GROCERY STORE

earlier today my fat ass had a craving for a brownie à la mode, so naturally i waddled my tubs of love down to the giant eagle on north campus for some eats. eats that naturally included some brownies and a giant container of ice cream i will probably never touch again.

side note... the roll call for my groceries included: brownies, ice cream, skim milk, hot dogs, loaf of bread, a chicken caesar wrap, and three blueberry yogarts. needless to say, i lead a healthy lifestyle. the skim milk tipped you off, didn't it?

anyways, so i'm at the grocery store, minding my own business. all i want are some brownies and some damn ice cream, that is my main mission. but i couldn't help but notice all the damn couples. even beyond couples, everyone was in pairs. two girls, two guys, a girl and a guy... didn't matter. everyone was paired off in twos.

personally, when i go grocery shopping, i want to be alone. i want to go in, get what i need, and get the hell out. the only reason i would want to go grocery shopping with someone else is i suppose to spend some (really boring) quality time with my live-in boyfriend while we stock up for the place we share.

point is, i don't get it. have we come to a point where we can no longer shop for fucking food on our own? do we really need that security blanket of another person with us to feel comfortable doing the simplest things? we all need to eat, we all know that going grocery shopping is way cheaper than eating out every night, why do we feel the need to have a robin to our batman while we do it? it's fucking food! go to the store, buy it, and go home. what's the appeal of a grocery date?

maybe i'm just behind in the times. maybe i'm just bitter because i felt like a leper standing in the condiment aisle trying to figure out which ketchup bottle i wanted to bring home to hang in the fridge with mr. italian dressing bottle and ms. grape jam jar. or maybe i'm right and seriously don't understand the reasoning behind having a grocery shopping buddy. i mean, it's not like you ever see three or more people grocery shopping, it's ony in pairs. it's like if you bring one more person into your two person grocery shopping equation, the world will lose grasp of it's equilibrium and we'll all explode.

whatever the hell is going on, all i know is i'm going to stick to solo food shopping, and no one can stop me. NO ONE!